67 - Charles – “I lost my home, my health, and our baby daughter and feel I cannot trust God.”
“Hey brother Michael! May the Lord continue to bless you and His ministry using you as His vessel inspiring the rest of us in these times. I hope this message finds you well. My name is Charles from Los Angeles, CA.
Brother, it has been a long road for me thus far. Even at 27, I have lost so much these past 2 years, and it feels like the closer I try to get to Father about all of this, the farther I feel and the more pain I experience.
In 2 years, I have lost my home, my health is diminishing, I have been experiencing panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and now Trauma symptoms that basically only come when someone enters a traumatic state of overwhelm. On top of this, me and my wife had to move back to my parents’ home. In this time my wife was pregnant, and 6 months ago our daughter passed away at birth. I felt like this was the final straw for me brother. I wanted to give up on life and forget everything.
God has been with me and walked me out of terrible circumstances in the past. My relationship with Father had been so strong, but now, I feel like my faith has taken a tremendous dip. I feel I cannot trust God. Even though I know I should. But this time around, this is something far greater than anything I have ever experienced. I know struggle with SEVERE health anxiety and cannot seem to overcome it. But the thing that scares me most is that I feel my relationship with Father has been damaged. And I believe that He is punishing me for just living for Him.
I confessed my sins before the Lord. I repented. I asked the Lord if I have opened any doors I should not have. I asked if I am doing anything that is against Him in anyway shape or form. Still silence.
It was until He led me to read Isaiah 60:22 And then Philippians 1:6 and
1 Peter 5:10
Brother I am messaging you because I feel so lost in my walk. I do not know what to do. I want my relationship with Father to flourish like before. I had no fear of the what if’s EVER. Now I cannot go one second without worrying about my heart phobia, breathing phobia, etc. Every waking moment I am in dread. As I sit and pray to Father to grant me permission to be in His presence. I just feel so lost brother. I hope that by the grace of God that you find this email amongst your millions of messages.
I just really pray brother that if you have ever felt this in your walk, to please show what you did to come back into close quarters to Him.
Yours in love and peace,
Brother Charles”
The Crook in the Lot: Embracing God's Purpose in Our Pain
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed in us" (Romans 8:18). These words offer profound comfort when life feels like a relentless series of trials. Brother Charles' story, shared in this recording, is a testament to the truth of this verse.
Charles faced a "crook in the lot"—health issues, the loss of a child and a spouse, and deep emotional pain. He wrestled with feelings of despair and questioned why God would allow such suffering. Like many of us, he longed for a break from the cross, a respite from the pain. But as the Lord had shown me, "There are no vacations from the cross."
The key to navigating these trials, is not to fight against them, but to embrace acquiescence and submission. We need to hit the down arrow button on our spirits when God hits the down arrow button on our circumstances. This doesn't mean passively accepting defeat, but actively surrendering our will to God's. It means acknowledging His sovereignty and trusting that He has a loving purpose, even in our darkest moments. As Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, "Yet not as I will, but as you will" (Matthew 26:39).
This act of surrender, of bringing our spirit low, is not easy. Our natural inclination is to resist, to try and change our circumstances. But true humility is recognizing that we are not our own; we have been bought at a price (1 Corinthians 6:20). God has the right to do as He pleases, and His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:9).
Charles' story is a wonderful reminder that resurrection life often follows crucifixion. By humbling himself before God, by accepting the "cup" placed in his hands, Charles opened himself to the transformative power of God's grace. And in due time, God lifted him up, now a trophy of God's resurrection power.
Are you facing a "crook in the lot"? Bring your spirit low before the Lord. Trust in His loving purpose, and He will, in His time, reveal His glory in your life.
