26 – John – “I constantly doubt the assurance of my salvation”
“I need your help Michael. I constantly doubt my assurance of salvation.”
Walking Through Fire: The Refining Power of Testing
Regarding his own salvation, John was in a season of testing, a period of persecution described in Luke 8:13: The seed that falls on rocky ground receives the word with joy, but it withers because it has no root. It falls away in a time of testing. I explained to John that this wasn't likely a sign of a false conversion, but an opportunity for God to prove and strengthen his faith. As Jesus said, “How hard it is to enter the kingdom of God!” (Luke 18:24). No one trips into the Kingdom; forceful men lay hold of it (Matthew 11:12). Strive, make every effort to enter through the narrow gate (Luke 13:24).
Brother John’s story, touched my heart deeply. He was not only still struggling to find peace with God regarding his own salvation, but he was suffering the prolonged grief and even guilt of his unsaved girlfriend’s sudden and tragic death. John correlated her not being saved to his heart and life not yet being right with God and his lifestyle of sin, before she passed.
Today, we address a difficult and often overlooked form of idolatry: the idol of grief. We understand grief. We empathize with loss. But we must also recognize when grief becomes a barrier to our relationship with God, a rival for our affections.
John’s struggle, though specific to his situation, highlights a universal temptation: clinging to the dead, to what could have been, instead of embracing the living God. This isn't to diminish the pain of loss, but to recognize when that pain morphs into something unhealthy, something that grieves the heart of God. Remember, even Jesus wept at the loss of Lazarus, showing us that grief itself is not sinful. But He also said, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:60). This is a crucial distinction.
God is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5). He longs for our hearts to be fully His, undivided in our devotion. James 4:5 warns us, "Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us?" When we cling too tightly to a person, a relationship, or even a memory, we risk creating an idol, a rival for God's rightful place in our hearts. We go to that person, that memory, to find "life," to have our needs met, our desires fulfilled. But true life is found only in Christ.
Consider Abraham's love for Isaac: It was a deep, fatherly love. Isaac was even a promise and miraculous gift from God to Abraham and Sarah, yet He asked him to sacrifice his son. Why? To remove Isaac from the center of Abraham's heart, to demonstrate that even the greatest earthly love must not rival our love for God. He wants us to hold all things with open hands, ready to surrender them to His perfect will.
What if God sees you clinging to someone who is in hell? Imagine His heartbreak, His jealousy. He desires your heart, your full devotion. Isaiah 5:20 warns us, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil.” The enemy will try to deceive us, whispering that clinging to the dead, to the past, is an act of love, of loyalty. But God calls it idolatry. Becoming a friend of the world, clinging to its values and its ways, makes us an enemy of God (James 4:4).
This isn’t about judgment or condemnation to those, like John, who are struggling with this, but about recognizing the subtle ways idolatry can creep into our lives, even in our grief. Ask the Lord to reveal any idols in your heart, to give you the grace to surrender them to Him. He longs for your heart to be fully His. Don't let anything, living or dead, distract you from the Kingdom of God. Let our Sovereign God have his way with the dead. Turn your gaze upward, to where Christ is seated at the right hand of God (Colossians 3:2), and find true life, true peace, and true joy in Him.
