95 - Rebecca – “My husband lives in sin yet believes God has forgiven him. I’m so confused. Should I stay or go?”
“Hello Michael.. I just spent the day getting to know you and your testimony. I cried many times listening to all you have endured. Praise God for his healing upon your life.
I have prayed SO hard that this email will make it into your hands and that I would be one of the lucky ones that gets a reply from you.
In 2007 I met a guy in America (I’m Australian) in a Christian forum. At the time I was engaged to be married. I had become a believer while being engaged to this guy. I was in the forum asking questions about marriage to my then finance and whether I was already considered to be married in Gods eyes. This is where the American guy came in (my now husband) and was trying to council me through email. Cut a long story short...
I read her entire email in the audio recording.”
Beyond "God Hates Divorce": A Deeper Look at Staying or Leaving an Abusive Marriage
Thousands have emailed me about finding themselves trapped in marriages that feel more like prison bondage than blessing. Perhaps your spouse claims to know God, but their actions paint a different picture. The weight of their sin, their indifference to spiritual things, their abuse – it can feel suffocating. You might be asking, "How can this be God's will for me?"
The enemy loves to twist Scripture, using verses like "God hates divorce" (Malachi 2:16) to keep you chained to guilt and fear. But God is not a legalistic tyrant. He sees your pain. He knows the darkness you endure. He cares more about your soul than a temporary institution (marriage).
Jesus said, "By their fruit you will recognize them" (Matthew 7:16). Does your spouse's life bear the fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)? Or is it marked by the works of the flesh – "sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like" (Galatians 5:19-21)?
Remember Titus 1:16 "They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him." This is about recognizing the reality of their spiritual state. A bad tree cannot produce good fruit.
If you are yoked to an unbeliever or a professing Christian whose actions deny Christ, and who is not willing to live with you in peace, you are likely in spiritual danger. You are not called to endure endless abuse in the name of “God hates divorce”. Seek God's wisdom. He may be calling you to separate or even divorce to protect your soul, exactly as He was Rebecca in today’s recording, who now rejoices in her new life and freedom.
First Corinthians 7:15 says, "But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace." This principle applies not only to unbelievers, but also to those who claim to believe but who live hypocritically in disobedience.
Cry out to God for deliverance. He is your refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). He will guide you, strengthen you, and lead you into His perfect will for your life. He will set your foot in a spacious place (Psalm 31:8) where you can be free to worship Him and bear the fruit of His Spirit.
