46 - Alley - "I have lost all faith. God has let me down repeatedly.”
“I have lost all faith. God has let me down repeatedly. He speaks, or I think he does, and then I have hope and then what I though he said and what I try to believe for falls apart. This is a repeated pattern in my life. If there is one spiritual consistency in my life, it’s to have God speak the way he does to other believers, very common stuff, repeated confirmation through his word and people and teachings, church etc....but it NEVER happens. In fact, my hopes, what I believed was God, are dashed and it NEVER happens. I feel manipulated by God. If I could tell you all the stories in my journal, all the spiritual events and confirmation over the years and every single time I am deceived by this, and God does NOT come through. This has happened at least 10-15 times over the last 15 years. I think I have a curse, and God has no part in my life. It is all a big fairy tale. I no longer can trust in him. He has given me NO history or reason to trust Him. When I say he gives me hope and then dashes my hopes, I mean it. My mother who is very spiritual and cannot understand why this happens over and over and over. I do not deserve this Michael. Something is wrong.”
When God Seems Unfaithful: Finding Peace in Surrender
Have you ever felt like God has let you down, like Alley in today’s recording? Like He made a promise, gave you glimpses of hope, and then…nothing? You’re not alone. Many of us wrestle with feelings of frustration and even betrayal when circumstances don’t unfold as we expect. We cry out, “Where are you, God?” and question His faithfulness. Today we are looking at the powerful but painful truth that when we feel God is unfaithful, the problem often lies within us, not with Him.
Our human nature tends towards self-centeredness. We cling tightly to our desires, demanding God fulfill our will. We look to Him as a genie in a bottle, expecting blessings, answered prayers, and a comfortable life. But true relationship with God begins with surrender—a complete abandonment of our will to His. Jesus modeled this perfectly in the Garden of Gethsemane, praying, "Not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42). He didn’t present his desires and then demand God fulfill them. He relinquished control entirely.
This doesn’t mean passively accepting whatever life throws our way. It means actively choosing to trust God's plan, even when we don’t understand it. It means obeying His commands, as Jesus said, "Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me" (John 14:21). It means acknowledging that He owes us nothing (Job 41:11). He created us, and our purpose and fulfillment are found in Him alone. Outside of Him, we have nothing.
When we walk in our own will, demanding our desires be met, we create an obstacle in our relationship with God. We block His blessings and obscure His presence. But when we surrender fully, acknowledging our emptiness and recognizing His sovereignty, we open ourselves to His peace, joy, and rest. We become like the servant Paul describes in 1 Timothy 6:8, content with food and clothing, trusting God to provide what we truly need.
This journey of surrender often requires facing our own pride and self-deception. It means acknowledging the warped or counterfeit Christianity many of us have been taught—one focused on blessings and comfort in the here and now, neglecting the essential truths of discipleship, suffering, and self-denial, with our hope fully on the grace to be given us when Christ comes (1 Pet 1:13). It means turning away from the false notion that God owes us happiness and embracing the difficult, life-altering truth that our lives are not our own. They are His. And in surrendering them back to Him, we find our true purpose and experience His unwavering faithfulness.
