98 - Yensy – “I’m on the verge of committing suicide. I blasphemed the Holy Spirit when I was 10.”
“Hey Michael, I’m super worried right now and on the verge of wanting to commit suicide. I think at one time in my life I committed the unforgivable Sin of blaspheming the holy Spirit. Is there any hope for me?
I think I was 10 or younger. I remember that I would always blame God for everything. I would always say bad words to him and say that the devil was better and that I hated Jesus. I would always tell God that Satan was better even though I knew in fact God was not who I was saying he was. I knew that he was good. But back then I didn’t care, I always thought everything bad in my life came from him even though I know it didn’t. I don’t know how to explain this, but I also sometimes have these very mean thoughts it’s like Satan is coming over me with these thoughts of doing evil to Jesus even if I want to just turn of my thoughts for a moment, it’s like Satan has me. And I’m scared because I feel so scared right now you don’t understand. What is the point? If I’ve done the unforgivable sin God won’t forgive me, but I want to be forgiven because I want to follow him and if this life means not being able to serve Jesus anymore, then there’s no point.
Please tell me that there’s hope. I prayed to Jesus last night and I asked to please allow you to answer to me. I told him I promise to serve him all my life, but I can’t do it if there’s no hope anymore.
Yensy”
98 - Yensy – “I’m suicidal. I blasphemed the Holy Spirit when I was ten.” (12-12-2017)
When Guilt Holds You Captive: Unleashing the Power of God's Forgiveness
A young teenage lady, Yensy, reached out, tormented by a past mistake of her anger and rage at God, which she believed unforgivable. The weight of guilt and shame had driven her to the brink of suicide. Her story is a reminder of how easily we can become prisoners of the past, held captive by guilt and condemnation, something God never wants for us.
Satan, the accuser, loves to exploit our vulnerabilities, whispering lies and magnifying our mistakes. He wants us to believe that we are beyond God's forgiveness and that there is no hope for healing.
But the truth is, God's love and forgiveness, with few exceptions, are limitless. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). This promise applies to everyone, regardless of age or the severity of our sin.
Yensy's struggle reminds me of John Bunyan, the author of Pilgrim's Progress. He too was tormented for years by guilt and fear, believing he had committed the unpardonable sin. But through persistent prayer and study of God's Word, he eventually found assurance of forgiveness and went on to write a book that has impacted millions.
If you are struggling with guilt and shame, remember that God is not like us. He doesn't hold grudges or keep score, for those who repent. He sees your heart, and He longs to forgive and restore you. But you must choose to believe it. You must have faith in His promises, just as you have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow.
Jesus said, "If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15). Forgiveness is not optional; it's a requirement for experiencing God's love and peace.
Cry out to God for help. Keep crying out. Don't give up. Seek His forgiveness, forgive yourself, and forgive others. He will meet you in your brokenness and set you free from the prison of the past.
