42 - Angella - "I am afraid of the consequences if I confess my wrong to someone.”
“DEAR SIR, I have DONE SOMETHING WRONG AND I AM AFRAID TO GO TO THE LANDLORD BECAUSE WHAT I DID WILL PUT ME IN COURT, POSSIBLY PRISON, AND EVEN DEPORTATION. IT HAS BEEN ON MY MIND, AND EVERYDAY SINCE NOVEMBER, I CRY MIXED WITH FEAR, ANXIETY AND GUILT AND SHAME.
I was raised up in a church, but I don’t think I ever committed my life. My mum is a born-again Christian, and she encouraged me to have faith and leave it to God. I WAS RAISED UP IN A CHURCH, BUT I DON’T THINK I EVER COMMITTED MY LIFE. MY MUM IS A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN AND SHE ENCOURAGED ME TO HAVE FAITH AND LEAVE IT TO GOD. But she doesn’t want me to confess, as it will put her in trouble too, as she feels once God forgives, it is okay just move on and have faith, but how can I move on when I constantly experience this fear? I am reading books, I came upon your story on YouTube and since then every night I come home from work, I play each of your journals. One thing I like, is the way you explain things.
I SURRENDER MY LIFE TO GOD, BUT YET I STILL AM AFRAID BECAUSE I AM NOT SURE, IF I SHOULD CONFESS, BECAUSE I KNOW GOD FORGIVES ME.”
The Weight of a Clear Conscience: Finding Peace in Honesty
Have you ever felt the crushing weight of guilt, a secret sin eating away at your peace? Perhaps, like Adam and Eve after their disobedience, you want to run and hide, believing God cannot see your transgression. But hiding our sin only amplifies its power over us. “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long,” the Psalmist cries in Psalm 32:3.
In today’s recording to Angella, we explore the transformative power of a clear conscience, the peace that comes from radical honesty before God and man. In Deuteronomy 28:28, God pronounced a curse of madness and confusion upon the Israelites for their disobedience. While we are under a new covenant, spiritual madness and confusion can still plague us when we claim the name of Christ yet try to conceal our sins.
In Luke 19:8-10, Zacchaeus, a tax collector known for dishonesty, encounters Jesus. Zacchaeus doesn't just confess his sins; he vows to make restitution, repaying fourfold anyone he has cheated. Jesus’s response is profound: “Today salvation has come to this house.” Zacchaeus's actions demonstrated genuine repentance, a heart truly changed.
While we're not always called to repay fourfold, Zacchaeus's story highlights the importance of honesty with those we have wronged. Confession to God alone is insufficient if we have sinned against another. Wonderful testimonies abound of Christians who, stumbling into sin, confessed and sought forgiveness from the unbeliever they wronged. Their honesty, rooted in the conviction of the Holy Spirit, opened doors for powerful conversations about the transforming love of Christ. These acts of true repentance can blow away unbelievers who witness such humility and conviction.
Don’t rob God of His best in your life, and possibly in the lives of others, by hiding your sin. “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows,” warns Galatians 6:7. True faith requires trust in a loving and merciful God, but also a God who demands honesty. Confess, make restitution where possible, and experience the freedom that comes from a conscience clear before God and man. The time for confession is now, because when we stand before God, we will not have a second chance to right our wrongs.
