32 – Bettina - “I am experiencing hell in my own home, and I am so tired! Why is God taking so long?”
“Hi Michael,
I hope it’s ok to ask you another question. I just get the feeling I haven’t found your website by accident.
I know I am in the desert, and I know God wants me to learn to trust Him
and rest in Him. I am really trying to learn this and obey Him. But there are still
situations, especially in contact with my ex-husband, which really leave me
very confused and exhausted. In these cases, which are so regular, I don’t have
clarity as to whether resting means to just ignore them and let myself be a doormat
for all the abuse my ex wants to act out. I don’t see this being very biblical either.
Just recently I was in the word trying to understand what God would have me do in a present situation. The scripture about turning the other cheek, came to mind quickly. But even this didn’t really seem to be the answer. Jesus didn’t act like a doormat in his life, nor did Paul order any other disciples to do so. In many cases, they stood up for their rights quite strongly. I searched a few Christian sites, which I trust and received a similar view on this issue. That is, that we are supposed to stand up against evil, we are just not to seek personal revenge, or act out of hate. This made sense to me.
I just feel so utterly exhausted having to constantly stand up to the evil coming from my ex-husband. It is so draining. Once again, I am now having to deal legally with some issues, because he is totally ignoring my rights. This costs money and it costs nerves. If I don’t act, my son and I will be left suffering the consequences once again. I find it very difficult to have peace, whilst constantly being shot at by my ex and my extremely evil flat mate, who calls herself a Christian, to make it even more horrendous.
You spoke of your mum persecuting you whilst living with her. This really spoke to me.
I am experiencing hell in my own home, as well as hell with my husband. I am so tired! I don’t understand, why God would wait on most issues for so long, while I pray and pray and seek Him night and day. It is really depressing on some days.
What would be your thinking about this? I know God wants me to lay the custody issue in his hands and just rest. He will work for us, I don’t need to go to court at the moment. But these new issues are everyday issues. They concern the few rights I have left with my son, which are legally fixed and which we have been permitted to live out, until now.
Is it just the extreme climate in this desert, that consumes so much strength in standing up to evil? I mean seeing how David was constantly running and hiding makes it somehow normal, to have ongoing horror in this dark period of refinement. Is it just me, having a weak moment again and not wanting to see where I am?
As often, I may be blind to something :) I would appreciate some light, if you should see something! Thanks a lot!”
When God Says "Don't Fight": A Lesson in Radical Trust
Are you, like Bettina, going through a difficult time, a season of pain and loss, long waiting for God to bring justice? Are you being poorly treated, even antagonized by someone who is supposed to love you? Today’s message to Bettina, is about a fundamental truth of the Christian life, a truth often overlooked in our pursuit of comfort and ease: the necessity of suffering the will of God in our lives.
When facing hardship, we often cry out to God for deliverance, for justice, for our circumstances to change. We may even feel abandoned by Him, questioning His love and care. But what if God is using this very trial to draw you closer to Himself, to refine your faith, and to prepare you for the blessings He has in store?
When I went through my own painful divorce, God gave me a seemingly impossible command: “Do not resist an evil person” (Matthew 5:39). He repeatedly showed me this verse, challenging me to surrender my desire for revenge, for my own justice, and for my own will to be done. This was one of the most difficult tests of my faith, but it proved to be a pivotal moment in my walk with the Lord. Had I failed this test, I wouldn’t be ministering here today.
This principle is echoed throughout Scripture. Jesus tells us, "If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well” (Matthew 5:39-40). This radical teaching challenges our natural inclination to fight back, to demand our rights. It calls us to a higher standard, a standard of love and forgiveness that reflects the heart of Christ.
In Luke 6:30-31, Jesus commands us to "Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.” This applies even to difficult ex-spouses. Are you willing to be wronged? Are you willing to be cast aside, overlooked, even cheated? This is not about enabling evil, but about trusting God’s sovereignty, His purpose, His power, and His punctuality (timing). He is in control, and He will ultimately right every wrong (2 Thes 1:6).
Isaiah 50:6-7 offers a powerful picture of Jesus’ own suffering: “I offered my back to those who beat me, my cheeks to those who pulled out my beard; I did not hide my face from mocking and spitting. Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced.” He endured humiliation, pain, and rejection, trusting in His Father’s ultimate deliverance.
This is our example. We too must be willing to suffer, to be humbled, to trust that God is working even in the darkest of circumstances. This is how we overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21). This is how we enter into God’s rest, a rest found not in comfortable circumstances, but in complete surrender to His will. As Jesus said, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26). This radical call to discipleship demands a willingness to lose our lives, our desires, our very selves, in order to find true life in Christ.
