29 - Anthony - "I'm in an unequally yoked, affectionless, sexless marriage and I want a divorce."
“I’m in an unequally yoked, affectionless, sexless marriage and I want a divorce.”
The Crucible of Commitment: Finding Christ in the Midst of Marital Suffering
Are you facing trials in your marriage like Anthony was in today’s recording, feeling the sting of unmet expectations and the weight of broken promises? Do you find yourself tempted to walk away, to seek happiness elsewhere? Today's message offers a challenging truth: We reap what we sow, and God often uses the crucible of painful consequences (like marriage) to refine us, to draw us closer to Himself.
You are not alone. Many believers struggle in their marriages, yearning for the affection, respect, and fulfillment they desire. But a Christ-centered marriage isn’t mostly about our happiness; it’s about reflecting His love and honoring our commitment, even when it hurts.
The life of a follower of Jesus is often a life of suffering, first and far too often from our foolish choices which contradicted God’s word. This isn’t a popular message, but it’s a biblical one. God often allows us to grab what we are convinced will make us happy, only to teach of the painful truth of how wrong we were. He even Himself gives good gifts, and then sometimes allows them to be cut off, or for thorns to grow around them, severely testing our faith and deepening our dependence on Him. Think of Eve’s first-born son Cain, Abraham’s son Ishmael, Jacob’s long awaited and beloved wife Rachel, David’s first wife Michal, Jonah’s gord, Ezekiel’s wife, or all of Job’s children and blessings. God gave all these gifts to them, which at first brought them such joy and happiness, and then He struck them. This is the cup Jesus drank, a cup initially filled with honor, respect, and many followers, then soon after filled with the bitter taste of rejection, betrayal, persecution, and abandonment. He endured, not for His own comfort, but for the joy set before him (Hebrews 12:2), to do His Father’s will. “The world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded me.” – John 14:31
Maybe, like myself or Anthony, you have put yourself in the prison of an unequally yoked marriage, and now desperately want out. Would God be pleased for you to abandon the marriage without just Biblical cause, or direct guidance from Him to do so? You made a commitment to your spouse. Now, God calls you to stay put, to persevere, not to try to free yourself from this exile situation. Instead, you must repent and trust He will work all things together for good (Romans 8:28).
If your spouse is unfaithful, physically harming you, preventing you from worshipping God, unwilling to live with you in peace, or has abandoned the marriage, then according to 1 Corinthians 7, you may very well have grounds for divorce. But as in Anthony’s case, a lack of affection or unmet emotional needs are not biblical reasons to break a commitment, adding sin upon sin. Don't be a coward, trading one marriage for another, hoping to find happiness in a new relationship. True happiness is found only in Christ.
Humble yourself before Him. Accept the suffering He has allowed into your life, trusting that He is not afflicting you for no reason, but refining you. Seek fullness in Jesus Christ, and allow this pain to turn your heart towards Him. I told Anthony he needed to learn to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, giving himself up for her, and to seek his satisfaction in Christ alone.
Embrace the refining fire of suffering, and trust that God is using this trial for your ultimate spiritual good, for the salvation of your soul. As Hebrews 12:11 reminds us, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
