June 28,2011
God Starts Using Numbers to Speak to Me & Confirms My Ministry with a Pastor
I’ve once again been wrestling with, “Ok Lord, where do I go from here as it relates to my work life”. I’ve been trying to think of what I can do to bring in some money to keep the basics covered, including child support.
I had a conversation with a friend a few weeks ago about this and she said that she felt I needed to be back out there speaking and that I wouldn’t be happy just taking it easy. I agreed and began fantasizing a bit about getting my sale training career back up and going. It gives me energy, is easy for me to do, helps people and would be the easiest way for me to support myself.
The problem has been that EVERYTIME I think about heading in that direction I seem to get a giant set of red X’s over it in my mind and I lose ALL peace in my spirit. My flesh seems to be saying “Go for it, this will be good for you and will serve as a nice distraction from the pain and isolation you’ve been in for so long now. This is the path to good times...go for it man...take care of yourself...do this!” That’s what I’m hearing in my flesh, but in my spirit, I’m hearing “This is the wrong path, sit still, listen...wait for me...trust.”
This happened whenever I talked about with my mom, or if I just looked at the newspaper to see what was going on in town, business wise. I would get the red x’s in my spirit.
My spirit was willing, but my flesh was still being so needy and so weak. “I need money...I need a career...I need pain relief”, etc.
After a lengthy talk with my friend and my mom about it one day, I concluded that I was going to go for the sales training thing likely and get back out there, but that I needed to pray about. Historically, I made quick decisions and just jumped right into taking action with no waiting upon the Lord and no real prayer about it. So, this time I decided to really press in and see what the Lord said.
I prayed and asked him to give me clarity on what I should do. I wanted to serve him so much, but I also need to earn a living.
After I prayed I began studying the word. I ended up in the book of Revelations as a cross reference for a scripture in Matthew. I happened to turn to the introduction pages of Revelations and noticed a paragraph about the significance of “7’s” and since I had been seeing them for quite a while I read it. It stated that the #7 appears 52 times in the book and that the #7 symbolizes completion.
In that very moment, I had the strong sense that the Lord was showing me that the work he has been doing in me, through this excruciating season, is almost complete and that I’m almost ready for my assignment. I felt so much excitement and joy in my spirit because of this and felt for sure that this was what the Lord has been trying to communicate to me.
I got up to go the bathroom and walked past the clock in the kitchen and there was the other number that I see ALL THE TIME...2:22. I’ve seen the # 222 at least 20 or 30 times in the last few weeks and finally I was like “Ok Lord, I get the 666 and now the 777, but what in the world is with the 222’s? Even my parents notice that I see it everywhere.
So, on the same day that I prayed and asked the Lord to really show me what direction he wanted me to go with my career, vs. serving him in full time ministry, I saw that # and decided to have it out with the Lord to get to the bottom of what it meant.
Since I saw it on the clock such that the # looked like 2:22, rather than 222, I wondered if it could be in reference to a Bible verse that the Lord wanted me to see. Since I was reading in Matthew, I looked up 2:22 and it was nothing significant, so then I thought well, what about Genesis. Genesis 2:22 said and God brought the woman to the man, that he made from his rib. I concluded that maybe that was to confirm that the Lord brought me so and so...but I knew that wasn’t what I was “supposed” to hear. So, then I went to Exodus and Leviticus and after a couple of books, I was like “OK, Lord, I’m not seeing anything, am I supposed to go through all 66 books?” Just then I got the impression to go back to the New Testament and naturally the next book in line was Mark.
THERE IT WAS. Mark 2:22 “And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins.”
I knew in that moment that what that scripture meant to me was, that the Lord has done a new work and given me a new heart for Him. I have been transformed and completely changed from how I was a few years ago. He didn’t want me taking the new work, he had just done, and then turn around and pour it back into the old wine skins of being a sales/motivational speaker.
It would be like mixing oil and water. Mixing my love for Christ, my desire for Him alone, my hate for the world and its evil desires, my disdain for those that lust after more and more and more, and then mixing it with a “hyped” up career, where you entice people to reach for more, by having the right attitude and skills. How could I teach people about “making more money”, which is such a slippery slope to begin with, and then teach them about loving Christ first, and being content with less in their life.
YOU CAN’T DO IT...they do not mix and thus the “new wine” would burst the old wine skins and BOTH would be ruined. WOW!!! WOW!!!!
Praise you God. Yesterday, I wanted more confirmation, because I was struggling with the idea that the Lord may be calling me to completely give up the marketplace for doing his work in ministry. I wanted to make sure I was really hearing from him, so I felt a prompting to call Pastor Mike Shirley, my old Pastor from Discovery Church East.
I asked Mike, when and how he knew he was being called into ministry. He said that he noticed his desire was to serve and just encourage people in their faith. That seemed to be his gift. I told him that I was feeling like maybe the Lord was calling me into working for him full time and I told Mike that my only heart’s desire was for the Lord and to serve him with my talents, but that I was still trying to figure out if that is my call and if so, how do I pay my bills with work.
Mike concluded that in fact I do have a story that needs to be told and he said “Mike, you need to be doing lots of journaling of all this stuff that has happened, like with the #’s and stuff like that.” (DON’T FORGET TO TELL THE STORY ABOUT GOD USING MY MOM AND MIKE TO CONFIRM THAT I JUST NEEDED TO GET THROUGH THIS DIVORCE AT ALL COSTS, even if it meant temporarily giving up some of my time-sharing rights with the kids.)
He sensed it very much and told me that the Lord doesn’t want me going to back to the old ways, with the new work that he has done in me. Now I’ll be using my talents, story and gifts for His Purposes, not mine. He implored me to “Stay the Course” and he asked the Lord to bless me with enough work of some kind to keep the bills paid, while I’m writing my book and being prepared to do the Lord’s work. I felt goose bumps and so encouraged and almost cried. Mike had just confirmed what I believe the Lord was telling me to do.
Stay still...don’t go back to your old stuff...be still, trust me and wait for your assignment...Work on getting that book finished.
What a blessing.
Side Note: Last night while talking to Tyler, I asked him to pray about me being able to have them up for the summer. I told him that I sent a letter to the Judge asking for that. He said “Dad...do you have a different judge depending on what day it is, like is it a boy judge one time and girl judge the next. I explained that it was always the same judge and I told him her name. He said “Dad...is she mean or anything?” I said “No, son, she’s just very matter of fact because judges hear all kinds of emotion and screaming and hollering all the time.”
He said “Dad, you know what you could do?” I said what son. He said, “You could put a dollar inside the envelope with your letter to the judge and circle the part of the dollar that says “In God We Trust”. I was absolutely BLOWN away to hear this from a nine-year-old and told him it was going to almost make daddy cry. I was so proud and felt so much joy in that moment. Praise you Lord God Almighty!