December 3, 2012

Episode #47 of Trusting God in the Wilderness

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Today is December 3rd. It's about 1:50 p.m. and amazingly, it's about 72 to 73 degrees, here in Huntsville, Alabama. It's absolutely record warm. It's crazy. And, I'm out here on my favorite trail, and, I've just been talking to the Lord for probably the last 30 minutes and just wanted to catch a quick update.

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I am so excited in my spirit about this journey that I'm on. I mean, I'm almost jealous of my own story and it just continues and continues and continues. It's like one never ending adventure even while I'm out here. I receive an email, from Keri’s attorney, Abigail. Now, this is probably going on about 40 emails I've received from her attorney just in the last 30 to 45 days.

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They just continue to try to overwhelm. And of course, I know the strategy. They're just trying to spend all of her money or actually all of her parent's money, but, it still classifies as a tremendous amount of harassment for me. And the longer it goes on, there is that part of me still that feels honored that God has chosen me for such a radical experience and that he has given me all of this grace to tolerate this, and I am.

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I am deeply shocked and surprised by how much has changed in my soul. I mean things that I spent years wanting to change, lamenting that I couldn't change have changed automatically by himself and my heart has. I now know looking back, I can see hindsight being 2020. All those times God said, don't get off the great surgeon's table yet unless you want to have to repeat this process.

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Because I was in the middle of having heart surgery, supernatural heart surgery, and now when I get an email from Abigail, I prayed for her. And it's not like, oh Lord, bless her so that she falls. No no no no no. It's, I have tremendous compassion. God has given me the ability to see through the person, to see the real enemy, which is Satan, and to have compassion on the vehicle that he uses, which is an obstinate or a disobedient person who's walking in unforgiveness, or a person who's been wounded.

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Satan roars around like a prowling lion, not with himself and a pitchfork in his hand. He roars around looking for people that are vulnerable, that he can legally have the right to use people that are walking in unforgiveness, particularly Christians who are disobedient and call themselves a Christian, but turn around and act completely different. God allows the devil to use those kind of people to exercise his judgment, to use for his correction, to bless, to create suffering, to create character change, to help us look more like Jesus Christ.

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He uses all of these circumstances and people. And so now when I pray, I pray for her [Abigail] and I feel such compassion, and now I'm actually believing God for another miracle. I'm believing that God is going to convict this Abigail of her great tragedy in being so blinded to the truth and literally trying to slay me all these years.

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at the hands of my disobedient, ex-wife. And I just pray for her salvation. I think she claims to be a Christian. Obviously, that's completely impossible when you act like this, and you do things in total contradiction to God's Word, and you lie and you slander and you cheat and all those things. I pray for her.

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I pray that the lights come on. I have compassion for her [Abigail], she's been taken captive to do the devil's work, and she doesn't really know it. If you knew that you had been taken captive, if you knew you were being deceived, you would surely do something about it. She doesn't realize it. Somehow or another, she has been wounded as a child.

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And there's been a lie that's been planted. And so that's opened up the door. Somehow or another, she's been injured or wounded, and she's probably harboring unforgiveness or bitterness towards somebody. And that opens the door for the enemy to come in and totally tangle a person up, totally deceive them, totally manipulate them into being used for his purposes.

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And oh, by the way, still going around town calling themselves a Christian. And I just am so thankful to the work of Christ. I mean, there is no greater testament of him working in and through you than to be able to have complete compassion and a desire to pray for your worst enemies. I could have never done this in my own strength years ago.

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Never. And I've always been a nice person. I've never been somebody that wanted to hurt somebody in purpose. I mean, I've I don't have a mean bone in my body. I mean, if somebody pushes me and tries to hurt me or my family, I can get indignant. I can get angry. But I've never had an intentional wickedness about me.

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I'm not that kind of a person. And even still, I could never feel the way I feel now. And so I am just. I'm excited about believing as I continue to return good for evil. So every single time they send me these horrible emails and “Mr. Chriswell, as you've been told multiple times, you have filed inappropriate information, you have spoken out of turn, you have been inappropriate in this.”

00;06;00;07 - 00;06;31;21

All of these things that the the legal jargon and, you know, accusations one after another. It just it's been comical to see how they write these things in such a way that every time it's accusatory, you know, like you've done something wrong, you're this horrible person and….the revelation that occurs to me right now, in this very moment, is when I look at the weight of all of the accusations, when I look at the sheer volume, like it's unbelievable.

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People wouldn't believe it unless they saw it. And there's no way for me to recount all of it. It's been two and a half years worth for for me to look at just the heaviness as it relates to the amount of slander and accusations in this divorce. I now recognize that not only has the enemy tried to attack me and my very weakness, I have always told my ex-wife that my Achilles heel has been to be accused of something I didn't do.

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Ever since my father, when I was 13 years old, slammed the door in my face, accusing me of being a problem child because he sided with my stepmother, who was the drug addict and not me, and literally kicked me out of the house lying about me. That sparked a wound inside of me that became very fearful, very cautious, and very guarded about ever being accused of anything.

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And, I mean, I can remember walking into Best Buy's or retail stores, always being conscious of when I put my hands in my pants, feeling like I'm on camera. They're watching me and they think I just stole something. There's a spirit that's lying to me because of that wound. It opened up the opportunity for me to be lied to.

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Long story short, now I can see that this being the primary target that the enemy has used, God himself turns around to say, my grace will be sufficient for you in this and such, that in your greatest weakness I'm going to build you up in that. And I'm starting to realize it's becoming like water in the duck's back.

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There's been so much accusation. It just. It doesn't. It doesn't hurt me anymore. And it's like the weakness that I always have that always hurt me, has now become something that I become almost immune to. And my mother has done the same thing, and my ex-wife has done this to me, repeatedly accusing me of things and their and her attorney and a couple of other people.

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And now I'm just like, I find myself every time her attorney sends me something, I find myself wanting to say. Mrs. Johnston, I might remind you that just because you choose to accuse me of something does not mean it is the truth. I don't ever say that, but in my mind, I realize that. That, you know, I used to believe.

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Well, maybe that's true. Maybe I am in error, you know? No. It's amazing what God has done. Amazing. And once you can see it for what it is and not a personal attack from from another person, it's really the enemy attacking God in you. It is the enemy attacking Jesus Christ, trying to suppress the Spirit of Christ in you and preventing you from living the life of a Christian in humility and for, preventing you from being able to give God glory.

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You want, you see, the plan of attack and you understand the strategy. It becomes so much simpler to see through people, to see the real enemy. It's Satan. And he has attacked me so much over the last three years, three and a half years, that I've gotten to the point where I'm not even afraid of him anymore. I'm just like, “oh, it's you again.”

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Go get busy somewhere else. I mean, literally, I've seen so many different things, so many different kinds of attacks, nightmares, terrors, bad thoughts, people things, accusations, letters, emails, you know, I've seen so many things from him that I'm just kind of like, you know, I keep my guard up, but I just don't have any fearing more. I don't have any fear.

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Recording continues….