Don’t Be Surprised if God Runs Off Your Unbelieving Spouse
SUMMARY:
Michael shares a message of encouragement with Christina, who is facing marital difficulties. Drawing from his own experience of divorce, Michael emphasizes that God can bring revival even through painful separations. He cautions Christina against holding onto a dead marriage, urging her to seek God's will and prioritize His glory above all else.
Michael advises Christina to adopt a Christ-like attitude, maintaining her integrity and responding with kindness even in the face of adversity. He encourages her to trust in God's unwavering love and sovereign plan, assuring her that God can use even the most challenging circumstances for His good purposes.
Throughout the message, Michael emphasizes the importance of seeking God's guidance through prayer and actively applying the teachings of Christ. He assures Christina that God will be with her through the storm and encourages her to guard her heart against negativity. Michael concludes by offering his prayers and support, reminding Christina that she has a brother in Christ who cares deeply for her well-being.
faith and marriage
divorce and Christianity
God's will for marriage
spiritual warfare in marriage
trusting God in difficult times
overcoming marital problems
biblical advice for marriage
Christian marriage counseling
finding hope in divorce
God's love and forgiveness
healing from divorce
rebuilding your life after divorce
Christian testimony
Michael Criswell
Relentless Heart Ministries
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(Auto generated transcript may contain errors)
May 3, 2015 - Hello, Christina, this is Michael Chriswell again. I wanted to, just reply to your last email, and I first of all, I am very, very thankful, that you were touched by my recording and my message to you again. That that is wonderful. All glory to God. He is such a wonderful, wonderful father. And I thank you.
I praise God for the opportunity to help people. And, thank you for taking the time to to write back, specifically. And I won't be long. I just wanted to share something with you that I hope could possibly encourage you a little bit, and that is that I'm sorry to hear about the situation that your marriage is in.
As your brother in Christ, I mourn with you. Even the loss of the dream so far of a marriage between two people that love each other and two people that are to love God one another, I, I'm sorry for that. For you. I know firsthand the pain that you are experiencing. I myself, was in that marriage for nearly 15 years and we were had many weak moments, as I say in my story, but that we somehow or another seemed to continue to be able to move forward and really what it was, it was just that for the sake of peace, we swept things under the rug.
That's really the truth. And then the issue was always there. And so eventually that root we began to produce more fruit. We were never getting to the cause. And so I just want to share something with you that there's a principle that God helped me to see that gave me much, much relief. I'm not saying that this necessarily applies to your situation, because I don't know what the father will do in your situation, but it is something that happened to me and it does happen often.
And that is this. Obviously, I did not want to end my marriage. I wanted to be one of those who was married. And when I was 90 years old, to be walking down the beach hand-in-hand with my wife as lovers, I that was a dream that I had. And because I was a Christian man, I did not want to divorce my wife.
And so I, I think I put up with, as most people would say, I went far beyond what most people would have to accommodate. Really, my, Christian beliefs that divorce was not something that you should do. And as you probably are aware, there's three instances that the Bible gives for the separating of a marriage in the Bible.
And the first one is that of in Matthew chapter five, it talks about that marital unfaithfulness is the only reason that a man can leave his wife. But then there is also two other instances that a marriage can be broken, where in the eyes of God it is not considered evil or adultery or sinful, and that is through the death of one spouse.
So somebody becomes a widow. And then the third option would be first Corinthians 715, where we see that sometimes an unbelieving spouse will leave the marriage because of the other person's belief in Jesus Christ. Paul teaches that the believing spouse should let the unbelieving spouse leave in that manner, and that you, the believing spouse, are no longer bound in that marriage.
And the reason that Paul gives is that because God desires that we live in peace. This is first Corinthians chapter seven, verse 15. Now how you define nonbeliever was interesting to me, because I did not yet realize the difference between a false disciple and a true disciple. I did not really understand the difference at this time between knowing about God versus knowing God.
And there was, a great deal of time that would pass before I began to understand these principles of God. But I do want to share with you something that happened, and that was that. A man came into my life who tried to counsel my wife and I, he's a famous man. And he came into our life, and he had a situation where his marriage was saved at the last minute.
Now, they were both Christians and they were had completely gone through the divorce process. They were within days of signing the papers. Somebody asked them to take a last ditch effort and go to this marriage retreat in Arkansas. So they went and miraculously, God saved their marriage. So a friend of mine knew this man, and he. And since my friend knew that my wife and I were, very much Dire Straits last ditch effort to save the marriage, he, me, he puts a meeting together with myself, my wife and this other man and his wife.
And so we go. We meet together. They bring their divorce papers to show us that they were all done except for the sign, and that God can do these amazing miracles. And I so bad wanted to believe for that. Well, we leave the meeting. I feel a sense of hope. But soon after, things just get worse.
And as you have seen in my story, I think you've seen my story. I'm not sure if you've seen my story or not. If you have not seen my story, Christina, please go find my story on my channel called Trusting God in the storms. Losing everything to find it all. It's about an hour and 16 minutes story of.
It's a documentary style video that talks all about my divorce, my life, and God has used this in a very powerful way to touch people. So please, if you have not seen that, go watch that. But this man is it turns out my, my, wife would go through the process of separating from me and she would even file for divorce within two weeks of separating.
Was it turns out I was in a leadership group, and I drove out to the middle of nowhere for a leadership conference. And who is the speaker? It's this man, Jeff, who spoke to my wife and I with his wife. He's a speaker, and I'm embarrassed because here they tried to help us save the marriage, and it hasn't been saved.
It's gotten worse. And so I went up to him and I said, Jeff, I said, hey, buddy. He said, Mike, how's it going out? You know? And I said, Jeff, I'm so sorry to tell you this, man. I said, I, I don't even know how to explain to you. I said, it's gotten so bad. I said, it's like spiritual warfare on a level I've never seen.
I said she not only separated, she's now filed for divorce. And then she's just turned into like, a monster. It's unbelievable. I, I just I'm embarrassed and humiliated to tell you. And it's just, you know, but I'm just trusting God. These are the words that come out of his mouth. Christina. He says to me something that just rocked my world.
Because in church, all we hear about is how much God hates divorce. God hates divorce. If you get divorced, you have a scarlet letter A on your chest, you know, or scarlet De it should be. But you know, and you feel so much pressure and you can feel like such a loss and such a complete failure, you know, useful to God.
You know, it's humiliating and it rips your heart out. I've been through lots of death of family members and stuff. I'm 41 years old, so I've had grandparents passed away. My best friend committed suicide when I was in high school. And, you know, I've been through that. The pain of the divorce is worse than all of those deaths put together.
It's horrible. And what I want to tell you is Jeff says to me, Michael, he said, let me share this with you. He said, sometimes if a spouse through disobedient obstinance hardness of heart is getting in the way of what God wants to do in the other spouse, we shouldn't be surprised when he removes the other spouse. When he said that to me, Christina, I just was like a shout of freedom.
I found a oh, are you slow? It was very hard for me to come to grips with because church has only ever taught divorce is bad, divorce is bad. Another thing that I'm going to share with you that that God opened my eyes to the gave me such relief as one day I was walking in the woods and I was praying and I said, God, you know, the Bible says, let men not separate what God has joined together.
And I said, I feel so bad. And one day I was just walking and praying and it was like God said to me, I didn't put this marriage together. You did. Christina. It was unbelievable. The Spirit of God set me free and helped me see, you know, when I met my wife, I was 19 years old and the Spirit of God just helped me to see that I'm the one that put this marriage together, not him.
And if he had not ended the marriage like he did and had not used my ex-wife in such a brutal way in my life, I would not be the person I am today and I would not be enjoying this amazing, amazing relationship with my father in heaven that is beyond putting into words what I have today. I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
I endured suffering, I bore some of the extra sufferings of Christ in my body and God has helped me so much. And so I just want to encourage you that no matter what happens, as long as you continue to position yourself to seek God and you obey him and you act Christlike, let your husband do whatever he needs to do.
And it very well may be that revival breaks out in your heart and then your life when he separates from you, because that is exactly what happened to me. If that's God's will now, it could also be that it's God's will to radically save him at the last minute. I don't want to give you false hope, but that is possible.
That is what God could do. He could do anything. My brother Lee, advice to you as my sister in Christ would be to hold this very loosely. Don't try to manipulate. Don't try to save and hold on to that which is dead. It very well could be that God is saying to you, let go of what is dead in the past, and I will give you what is new in the future.
Sometimes it is easier to give birth than it is to raise the dead. And contrary to what you'll hear in church, sometimes revival comes from separation. The church preaches unity, unity, unity, unity. But there are many stories throughout history where God has used separation from people, separation and marriage, separation in relationships to bring about revival. And remember Matthew 1034 Jesus says, do not suppose that I have come to bring peace, but a sword.
I did not come to bring peace to earth. He says, I have come to divide mother, rather son against father, to divide mother from daughter, daughter in law from mother in law. A man's enemies will be the members of his own household. Anyone who loves father and mother more than me is not worthy of me. Anyone who loves his brother or sister more than me is not worthy of me.
And anyone who does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me. Understand that God's top priority, Christina, if you are seeking God is you. His top priority is your heart. His top priority is Romans 829 to conform you into the image of Christ Jesus. Why, it's his glory that is on the stake.
It's his glory that's at stake. God is about his glory in your life. God works through us and in us and for us. Ultimately for him. And so if anybody wants to get in the way of what God wants to do to glorify himself in your life, that person is robbing God of his glory. There is nothing on this earth, no relationship, no marriage, no child, no finances, no career, no mission.
Nothing is as important on this earth as God's glory to himself. And so if God wants to use you and move in, you to bring glory to himself, and your ex-husband has remained hardhearted and he has remained obstinate, and he has remained with his heels in the ground, you would not be surprised that God Himself will remove him out of your life.
It doesn't mean it won't be painful, but it is a good thing if God does it. And so I beg of you to hold it loosely. Don't do anything to manipulate or accelerate this. Let it be that if he is to be run off, that God runs him off, and you continue to be a woman of noble character, you continue to hold your head high and you continue to pray for him as currently your enemy.
Because Jesus Christ said, he who is not with me is against me. He who does not gather scatters. So that means that your husband is living as an enemy of the cross of Christ. You have an enemy of your master in your household. You must understand that is exactly how God sees it. This is why Paul warns us not to be unequally yoked with those of unbelievers, because the sinful nature is enmity towards God.
It despise this God and it cannot follow God's law. Romans eight seven. So I just pray, dear sister, that you will consider all of this. I hope this is something for you to, be encouraged by. And I know no matter what, it's not fun to go through this. It's painful. It's brutal. But God will be with you.
God will be with you. And Proverbs 423 Christina, above all things guard your heart, for out of it flows the wellspring of life. Guard your heart. Don't allow whatever the devil may want to do. If your husband leaves you. Don't allow whatever kind of dirt he wants to throw at you to stay in your heart. You maintain Christlike position.
Matthew 539 not resisting an evil person, but turning the other cheek, leaving room for God's vengeance and overcoming evil, not being overcome by evil, but overcoming evil with good. Be Christ like and be willing to suffer. Be willing to be wronged. You never can tell what kind of an impact that may or have on his life. Be willing to let him have the other hand.
Be willing to let him take advantage of you. First Corinthians chapter six. Go read that. Be willing to be wrongdoing. Be willing to be cheated. Be willing to be thrown upon the mercy of God where you have nothing but him. And you will find that when all you have is God, he is all you've ever needed.
Christina. He is your father and he loves you, and he can do amazing things in your life. I have many more things I could share with you, but for now, hopefully this message will help you and just know you have a brother in Christ who's praying for you. And I promise you, if you'll get in that book and you'll start actively putting the teachings of Christ, and in practice, he will blow your mind with his love for you.
God bless you, dear sister. I talk to you soon. Bye bye. This is Michael Criswell with relentless heart.com. Are you ready to experience God? And are you ready to finally find the John 1010 promise for life to the full? Consider taking the John 717 challenge right now by visiting John seven 17.com. That's john717.com.
