2012 August - Michael Journal Entries

AUGUST 2012

Part 1

  • Being afflicted in everyway and glorying in my suffering

  • My mom and I's biggest confrontation ever!

  • God giving me supernatural guidance and comfort in my pain

  • Father is breaking me of all my self-sufficiency

  • Outside pressure to get me to disobey God

  • All income doors are being closed before me

  • Realizing suffering that roots out SELF takes years, not months

  • So confused about my work situation and what looks like idleness in my life

Part 2

  • God uses my son Tyler to give me divine guidance

  • Conflict with my former business partner and best friend

  • Measuring an accusation against the fruit in the person's life who presents the accusation

  • An eye opening moment contrasting my old life (worldly success) with my new life (spiritual success)

  • Realizing I can no longer pray the Old Covenant curses on my enemies as David did

  • Still missing my ex-girlfriend and praying for her

  • Drop the children for what will be the last summer visit with them ever

  • So thankful for the compassion that the Lord has given me for my #1 enemy

  • The Lord tests me by connecting me with "successful" people from my old life

  • A divine encounter with an old friend who is working for Reinhard Bonnke

  • Sensing spiritual attack and receive 2 Thessalonians 3:3

  • God training me to pray in faith, to believe I have received what I have asked

  • God confirms He's been showing me Revelation 2:2 with the number 202

Part 3

  • A story about what God wants me to do in the next court hearing

  • A story of how God used a friend of mine to reveal to me that I have a very specific purpose

  • A surprise reunion with my children at their school and a test of my new heart before my enemy

  • Negative call with my children. Satan's attacks on them are working

  • Being spiritually attacked repeatedly at 3:00 am in the morning and in my dreams

  • The truth about binding and loosing Satan

  • An open door with the production department at Christ for All Nations (Reinhard Bonnke)

Part 4

  • Insights after my meeting at Reinhard Bonnke's CFAN Ministry Headquarters

  • God speaks to my heart while standing behind a large production camera in their studio

  • Huge inspiration from Bonnke's book to live a life of faith

  • Making a determined decision to trust God in my life of faith from this point forward

  • It is too easy to not trust in God living in the United States

  • Scuba diving: The deeper Christian Life Metaphor

  • My ministry message: To Him Who Desires Me, He Will Find Me

  • My attitude should be a reflection of God and the certainty of His Truth

  • God shows me dozens of times the number 404 and then shows me my ultimate purpose in ministry

  • A vision of me pleading with people to believe God loves them

  • Revelations on the old Michael Chriswell vs. New Michael Chriswell, as it relates to walking with God

Part 5 (NOT FOR CHILDREN OR THE EASILY OFFENDED)

  • God will rarely force His way into someone's life. Paul may be an exception

  • The Lord asks me to set down masturbation and a certain music I've been listening to

  • Still not feeling released from my ex-girlfriend and hoping God will change her heart

  • Faith only works when we ask according to God's will

  • My current thoughts about Reinhard Bonnke

  • New insights on knowing God internally

  • Suffering makes God's promises real

  • God telling me to stand firm regarding seeking justice from the Magistrate in the divorce

  • Impossible obstacles rise in the divorce situation

Part 6

  • Let us never talk about God as if He's not here

  • Planning for my ministry

  • More fervent prayer for God to turn my ex-girlfriend's heart to Him

  • Feeling a dread to go back home to my parent's house

  • Feeling a new calm towards my mother that I've not previously felt

  • God begins to make me so sensitive to the hurting around me and the lost

  • Sensing my ministry has a spirit of reconciliation to those who once knew, but have drifted away or gone cold

  • God uses a divine encounter with the band Unknown Lyric to confirm my purpose in Job 4:4

  • Divine encounter with a man named Bobby Junkin

  • Friend gives me a false prophecy about my ex-girlfriend

Part 7

  • Summary of divorce injustice so far and having strong faith that justice will finally come

  • Confirmation that my story is my ministry

  • Enrolled in the school of faith

  • All I need is the presence of God

  • The inside out approach to knowing God

  • I am completely obsessed with God

Part 8

  • God bringing more people to me that I can help

  • My mom and Satan are trying to scare me into believing I'm going to jail

  • Effortless boldness and fruitfulness is pouring out of me

  • Recognizing that there is now an anointing on my words

  • The two works that seem to occur in the life of all believers

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! Part 5 is NOT suitable for children to hear. It contains testimony regarding sexual issues, including masturbation, which may even be offensive for some believers to hear. If you are easily offended by this level of transparency, PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN to part 5. I share these recordings to help the thousands who have contacted me with painful struggles in these areas. Thank you, Michael

2019 Copyright Notice. While these recordings in the series “Trusting God in the Wilderness” may be downloaded for personal use on your own device, they are not to be copied, transmitted, edited, publicly played, shared, or uploaded to any website, social media platform, or content distribution systems such as YouTube. All other use of these recordings, without prior written permission, is strictly prohibited and all rights have been reserved by Michael Chriswell, owner of said recordings.

2012 July - Michael Journal Entries

July 2012

Part 1

  • Realizing the need of intentionally walking in the fruits of the Spirit

  • Reflections and insights on what happened regarding my relationship with Jill

  • God teaching me to be still and be a son

Part 2

  • Lessons from my faith failure in divorce court

  • Battling my mom's unbelief and antagonism towards my faith

  • Learning to not take the advice of those around me, but to seek God’s counsel alone

  • Incredible guidance through an Oswald Chambers Devotional

  • Willing to allow myself to be wronged or cheated in order to trust God

  • Choosing to be a fool for Christ

  • Satan attacks me through my mom right after a great time in prayer on the mountain

  • Revelations about my suffering and comforts both of which come form the Holy Spirit

Part 3

  • Tempting thoughts to find pain relief with my ex-girlfriend

  • Participating in the sufferings of Christ, something no Old Covenant believer could do.

  • Realizing true justice comes in the next life, not this one

  • If I try to escape this pain, I will also escape the character

  • The Spirit shows me that my ex-wife is being used in my life like a Pharaoh

  • I'm all alone, there is no one who can help me now but God

  • Confusing happiness with joy

  • Knowing what it means to despair even of life

  • A Summary of my current sufferings

  • God's amazing providence confirming Matthew 5:39 over and over

  • Seeing LOTS of 555's that God will deliver me

  • Good message at church about righteous indignation and the feminizing of Jesus

  • Validation of my righteous indignation and passion towards the things that offend God

Part 4

  • Feeling anxiety about meeting a Christian business man

  • Asking God for wisdom because I'm too open to what other may want to do in my life

  • Receiving contradictory "Prophetic words from the Lord" from two different people

  • Confused about my work life/ministry life balance

  • Important revelations on God's Fatherhood

  • Father teaching me to "ask, seek, knock" continually and to depend upon Him fully in prayer

  • Brokenhearted after my meeting with a worldly entrepreneur who calls himself a Christian

  • A Summary of the divorce court story and injustices so far

  • The intense conflicts between my mother and I increase

  • Receiving a terrible blow of more false accusations and feeling like giving up on my faith in Christ

  • Tempted to find pain relief and just take a job

Part 5

  • The irony of someone wanting to interview me about my "success", not realizing I'm now a total "failure" in the eyes of the world

  • Trying to live in the New Covenant with the promises of the Old Covenant

  • Feeling like God has me in a vice, putting the squeeze on me

  • God testing me to see if I will deliver myself or stay put trusting in God alone

  • My physical body is weakened by all the suffering

  • Sensing Father is writing a wonderful story in my life that is not yet finished, hence why I haven't been ready to tell my story or make videos yet

  • Real transformation only comes through suffering, not teaching

  • Growing in discernment as I meet with professing business "believers"

  • Increasing pressure from others to "do something" and to stop waiting on God

  • The key principle for me in this season is to endure

  • A growing burden to begin sharing what I'm learning so far in my walk with God

  • Torn between two interpretations of my story, one of which makes NO sense to my flesh or my parents

  • Insights on why God is not allowing me to get a job

  • God answers my prayer to confirm I'm on the right path

2019 Copyright Notice. While these recordings in the series “Trusting God in the Wilderness” may be downloaded for personal use on your own device, they are not to be copied, transmitted, edited, publicly played, shared, or uploaded to any website, social media platform, or content distribution systems such as YouTube. All other use of these recordings, without prior written permission, is strictly prohibited and all rights have been reserved by Michael Chriswell, owner of said recordings.

2012 June - Michael Journal Entries

June 2012

Part 1

My Garden of Gathsemene Experience of Deep Anguish

Part 2

  • In church we are taught it's about believing, not obeying

  • An aggravating "Catch 22" in the Christian faith

  • Christianity in the flesh is impossible

  • The Two Biggest Obstacles for Christians

  • Giving up the World is not enough

  • Trying to figure out what stage I'm at in my walk

  • Revelations about what it takes to be complete in Christ

  • Lessons learned from my relationship with my girlfriend

  • Revelations on what "Perfect Love Casts Out Fear" means

  • The Great Evil is our own Self Life

Part 3

  • God confirms my greatest need is to deny myself

  • Children on vacation with $100 illustration

  • After prayer for more suffering, it comes through my son telling me that a life long secret of mine has been revealed to him by my ex-wife

  • Pursuing Knowledge vs Faith

  • Why Psychology should have no place in the life of a Christ follower

  • Why the Scientific approach of proving God falls short

  • My mother struggles to understand the message of "giving myself up"

  • Modern day idolatry and a test you can use to see if something is an idol to you

  • Quenching and Grieving the Holy Spirit

Part 4

  • The seriousness of denial in the Christian's life

  • The importance of asking God to show you the dark spots in your heart

  • Insights on child-like faith vs pursuing knowledge

  • Sacrifice: Saint vs. Politician vs. Professional Athlete - What's the difference?

  • The need for discretion

  • Changing my behavior to make Christ more attractive

  • God shows me partial obedience is not obedience

  • Praying God not to bless my ex-wife until He's done using her to afflict me for the growth

  • Gratitude to God for the suffering that is uniquely mine

  • Mysterious absence of Satan in recent weeks

  • Another reason being a Christian is so hard

  • How important it is to be in the moment

Part 5

  • Revelations on making false meaning in our stories: Narrative Fallacy

  • Understanding the role fear has played in my relationships

  • Realizing my sufferings are killing SELF

  • Willing myself to learn to love selflessly

  • The motivation to give self up

  • Realizing that God's love is still not made complete in me

  • Realizing that I need to learn and intentionally obey Christ's teachings

  • Contrasting the world's ways with the ways of Godly men and women

  • Consciously realizing that every person I meet is an opportunity to represent the light of Jesus Christ

  • Thoughts on being "all things to all people"

  • Serving others is serving Christ

  • The gap between what we hear in Christian music and our daily reality

  • Being consciously aware of the two natures in you

  • My character flaws show so vividly when compared to this movie scene

Part 6

  • A practice message to others about my passion about discipleship

  • Engaging spiritual warfare with specific Scriptures

  • God shows me that I've gone to an extreme thinking that all my problems with my girlfriend are my selfishness, when in fact she is lacking discretion in some key ways.

  • Lesson from Dog eating my three day old Oakley Sunglasses

  • Ups and Downs of the Christian life

2019 Copyright Notice. While these recordings in the series “Trusting God in the Wilderness” may be downloaded for personal use on your own device, they are not to be copied, transmitted, edited, publicly played, shared, or uploaded to any website, social media platform, or content distribution systems such as YouTube. All other use of these recordings, without prior written permission, is strictly prohibited and all rights have been reserved by Michael Chriswell, owner of said recordings.

2012 May - Michael Journal Entries

May 2012

Part 1

  • Most Christians choose the safe path and miss the rewards.

  • What running the narrow path requires

  • The necessity of experiential faith

  • More insights on why we need discipleship and not counseling

  • Anxiety from having to attend a business conference

  • Learning to Trust God entirely for the Results in your life

  • Struggling to start teaching, while I'm still learning so much

  • I took the long way to fullness in Christ, but you don't have to

  • My commitment to get back to the simplicity of our faith

  • The saint must walk alone

  • Confirmation on Who I am to serve with my discipleship program

Part 2

  • Admitting and fighting against my evil selfishness

  • My Biblical response to my sin

  • Fighting the temptation to manipulate someone else to meet my needs

  • The simple answer is to give myself up

  • Feeling such a strong burden to call people out on their half-hearted Christianity

  • Facing the consequences of my pre-marital sex and disobedience

  • The gripping fear of giving myself up, and not having my needs met

2019 Copyright Notice. While these recordings in the series “Trusting God in the Wilderness” may be downloaded for personal use on your own device, they are not to be copied, transmitted, edited, publicly played, shared, or uploaded to any website, social media platform, or content distribution systems such as YouTube. All other use of these recordings, without prior written permission, is strictly prohibited and all rights have been reserved by Michael Chriswell, owner of said recordings.

2012 April - Michael Journal Entries

April 2012

Part 1

  • Feeling a deep call to turn people from Idolatry

  • The rise of Spiritual incompatibility between my girlfriend and I

  • God is changing my thinking to what people would call "Radical"

  • A hypothetical trip to heaven to hear what Father would say about your love towards Him.

  • The need to ask for the Holy Spirit

  • The desire to go to men, rather than God

  • Going back to the simply teachings of Christ and believing Him to change you

Part 2

  • The Revelation of the Flesh being irretrievably broken

  • Walk by the Spirit, instead of trying to fix the flesh

  • Solving the confusion of Romans 7

  • More Revelation about Counseling vs Discipleship

Part 3

  • God testing me in the area of finances

  • Satan uses old client to tempt me back into marketplace

  • Revelations on modern day idolatry

  • Asking ourselves honestly how much do we truly love God

  • Insights on truly knowing God

  • Parental alienation kicks into high gear

Part 4

  • Insights while watching Oprah Winfrey and T.D. Jakes Life Class on TV

  • My prayer and confession of sexual sin to God, asking for forgiveness

  • Many new insights about Spiritual Warfare which came from a year of intense spiritual warfare.

  • Increased spiritual attack while reading the book, Kingdom of the Occult

  • Recognizing the childhood root of all my insecurity

2019 Copyright Notice. While these recordings in the series “Trusting God in the Wilderness” may be downloaded for personal use on your own device, they are not to be copied, transmitted, edited, publicly played, shared, or uploaded to any website, social media platform, or content distribution systems such as YouTube. All other use of these recordings, without prior written permission, is strictly prohibited and all rights have been reserved by Michael Chriswell, owner of said recordings.

2012 March - Michael Journal Entries

March 2012

Part 1

  • God reveals His Jealousy through my own and He is giving me an experiential faith.

  • 3/24 - Seeing 666 6 Times in 7 to 8 hours. Satan beginning to bring opposition to my discipleship training program.

  • It is God's mercy that we are not promoted before we are ready.

  • A. W. Tozer Insights and Revelations about true and false believers

  • How God is teaching me by the Holy Spirit and then confirming things by the words of Godly men.

  • Without Obedience we will never know the Presence and Power of God

  • Christians have a love affair with the world and then wonder why they don't have fullness in Christ.

  • My prayer for God to turn men from the world and to Himself.

Part 2

  • The need to intentionally train ourselves to become Godly

  • This recording captures the early inspirations of what would eventually become the John 7:17 Challenge

  • We talk about God as if he is a subject, not a person, as if He was a "dead author"

  • I've learned more about my personal relationship with God outside the "church" than inside

  • Do you love the Lord? How do you know? What is your evidence?

  • Planning ideas about the discipleship program

2019 Copyright Notice. While these recordings in the series “Trusting God in the Wilderness” may be downloaded for personal use on your own device, they are not to be copied, transmitted, edited, publicly played, shared, or uploaded to any website, social media platform, or content distribution systems such as YouTube. All other use of these recordings, without prior written permission, is strictly prohibited and all rights have been reserved by Michael Chriswell, owner of said recordings.