24 - 2017-11-20 - The Climax of My Frustrations and Being Overcome By Evil

The secret of knowing God’s complete sufficiency is in coming to the end of everything in ourselves and our circumstances. Once we reach this point, we will stop seeking sympathy for our difficult situation or ill-treatment, because we will recognize these things as the necessary conditions for blessings. We will then turn from our circumstances to God, realizing they are the evidence of him working in our lives.
— A.B. Simpson

In this rather dramatic and raw journal entry, I have reached the climax of my frustrations and pain from watching Satan take more and more of my wife captive to then afflict me through her.

I wish to again point out that I only ever share my troubles long after they have passed, or Father has comforted me in them. I never make my tribulations or anxieties known to men when they happen, but only later, when there is now a testimony of God’s care or deliverance.

I encourage you to follow my example of faith in this and make your troubles and problems known only to your loving Heavenly Father. Deny the flesh it’s desire to “run to men”, which is far more satisfying, but who are made only of dust.

Do not doubt that He will hear you and help you if you cast your troubles on Him in secret, but again stand on examples like George Mueller’s or Madame Guyon’s life, which prove you can indeed cast all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you.

Which of you does not know how to tell his malady, and beg relief? Come, then, to this Fountain of all good, without complaining to weak and impotent creatures [men], who cannot help you; come to prayer; lay before God your troubles, beg His grace—and above all, that you may love Him. Did ye once drink at this fountain, ye would not seek elsewhere for anything to quench your thirst; for while ye still continue to draw from this source, ye would thirst no longer after the world. But if ye quit it, alas! the enemy has the ascendant. He will give you of his poisoned draughts, which may have an apparent sweetness, but will assuredly rob you of life. I forsook the fountain of living water when I left off prayer. I became as a vineyard exposed to pillage, hedges torn down with liberty to all the passengers to ravage it. I began to seek in the creature what I had found in God. He left me to myself, because I first left him. It was His will by permitting me to sink into the horrible pit, to make me feel the necessity I was in of approaching Him in prayer.
— Madame Guyon

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